December 2010 Archive

Happy New Year 2011!

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been… ummm… idle for a while.

The holidays, kids being home 24/7 and family time leaves little time to blog. I will be back on Monday January 3rd but in the meantime I am taking a bloggy vacation so HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and yours from all of us at Playing Mom me!

I never make New Years’ resolutions. For two reasons, actually. One, nobody ever keeps them and two, if you really want to change something, what’s wrong with April 4th or October 12th or July 22nd? I know January 1st is this nice turn-the-page beginning, but… well, just call me a New Years’ resolution scrooge.

That being said, if I DID make New Years’ resolutions (well, more like tongue-in-cheek wishes) for this year, these 10 would be among them:

1. The usual “duh” resolution – lose weight. Maybe aided by liposuction. Or using a household stapler. I can be creative.

2. Get a clip into Lexi’s hair. (Which is something I can’t control but I’m giving it a year.)

3. Make a daily shower mandatory. Yes, you heard me. Don’t act like you’re all clean, all the time!

4. Somehow make enough supplemental income to keep Ryan at that ridiculously expensive private nursery school where he learns about magnets, perspective, the role of germs and baking cookies while also getting the opportunity to touch and learn about snakes, chicks and various other animals. And that same school is transformed into a 16 acre summer camp where he plays golf, steers motor boats, rides cars and horses, swims and does the zip line while learning the words to every Top 20 song, among hundreds of other things. It’s Disneyworld for kids and the equivalent of being pickpocketed for their parents. I could send him to a different school, but it’s just… so… well, the bus pulls all the way up the driveway! I can’t help it!

5. Watch every season of How I Met Your Mother – from the beginning. We just got into this show – how did we not watch it before?

6. Reteach Ryan how to nap… from 3pm-5pm.

7. Drink more water. Try not to let it bother me that it means 45 trips to the bathroom a day. Such a waste of time but I know it’s healthy.

8. Get Ryan to dance like Justin Bieber. (Every family needs a moneymaker…)

9. Make our house look like people actually live in it.

10. Finally tell Cory that he’s not the kids’ father.

Posted by Dani in Holiday stuff

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate…

…and Happy “Chinese Food and a Movie Day” to those who don’t!

Posted by Dani in Holiday stuff

Mother of the Year 2010

As 2010 winds to a close, I wanted to throw my hat into the ring and nominate myself for Mother of the Year. I can think of more than 20 things I’ve done this year to deserve the title, but I will hold myself back and share only my Top 3 from the month of December:

1. Today I placed Alexa in her carseat with her bottle while I ran upstairs to get my sunglasses. I came back down, covered her snugly with her blanket and we left to do a couple of errands. Two hours later, we arrived back home. I went to take her out of her carseat. She came out a little too easily. Apparently I never strapped her in.

2. Last week there was a dusting of snow. Ryan gets so excited when it rains because he gets to wear his fireman boots to school, so imagine his joy when I brought them out so he could slosh through the snow. Later when I asked about his day, he reported that he didn’t have gym. I asked what happened. Apparently I was so focused on packing a milk carton in his backpack for some class project that I forgot to pack his sneakers as well. He had to watch his classmates enjoy gym class while he sat out.

3. About two weeks ago, Alexa started gravitating towards the wires to the monitor and sound machine in her room. I knew I had some babyproofing supplies in one of Ryan’s drawers left over from when he was a baby. I gave Alexa a toy to play with for a second, ran to Ryan’s room and found the cord shortener. I came back just in time to catch Alexa tug on the wire to her monitor, causing it to fall onto her head. It took a good five minutes for her to stop wailing.

So, anyone else want to nominate themselves for MOTY 2010 or is this a one-horse race?

Posted by Dani in Women

Boys Only

Sorry I’ve been MIA…

I’ve been working on a new project that will eventually wash away all of my remaining free time. Not to be cryptic, but I will share more in the new year if all goes well.

So… how was your weekend? Ours was nice. On Saturday, Cory took Ryan for a ’Boys Only’ day in NYC.

Before Alexa was born, before my parents came to stay, it was just the three of us – Daddy, Mommy and Ryan. Although we do tons of family stuff together, it’s always nice to carve out special time. It was cute - Cory prepared a fun-filled day for the two of them – backpack filled with snacks, toys, our camera and monkey (who actually made it back home) - and they both came home exhausted.

The simple act of riding a real train could have been the highlight of any day for Ryan, but throw in some subway rides, a space-themed character lunch and a trip to the Childrens’ Museum, and you have a winner!

Handful of photos from Ryan’s day with Daddy:

On the Long Island Railroad

First subway ride ever!

With Captain Orion at Mars 2112

With QT at Mars 2112

On Broadway. No idea why Cory chose this show as the backdrop - we really disliked Mamma Mia on B'way...

Subway sounds - Ry is not a fan of loud noises

With Diego at the Children's Museum of Manhattan

Taxi!

Waiting to find out the LIRR track assignment

Leaving a trail of muffin crumbs behind so NYC will never forget him...

I’m already counting down the days years until my first ‘Girls Only’ day with Alexa.

Let’s just say there will be a little bit of this:

American Girl Place

Some of this:

Afternoon Tea

And of course this:

Her first manicure

Posted by Dani in Boys, Men

The Perfect Mother

Rewind a bit.

Ryan is an only child. I am a first-time Mom.

Enter my apartment at any given moment and you’d see me doing one of four things:

A. Sitting on the floor playing with Ryan and/or teaching him something about the world

B. Reading a book about baby/child development

C. Sleeping

D. Eating

Basically, my life was about trying to be the best, most involved, most loving, most organized, most entertaining, most in-the-know, most creative mother and teacher to my son – with eating and sleeping thrown in somewhere.

I knew what a child Ryan’s age should be/may be/might even be able to do at each stage of development. I researched and bought the most appropriate toys to challenge his mind. I had our daily schedule on display. I subscribed dutifully to Supernanny’s method of discipline. I did everything by the book. My friends marveled at my energy and devotion.

The result? A happy but imperfect kid and a tired, Mom-centered Dani. You could take me out to dinner with a roomful of adults and the only thing I felt knowledgeable discussing was Ryan and Mommyhood. When Ryan spent 8 months of his life in a “pushing” phase, I beat myself up over not being able to teach him physical self-control and wondered what I did that was so wrong.

Total crap.

Fast forward to now. I have two kids.

Enter my house at any given moment and you’ll see me playing with the kids while also making a point to:

A. Do laundry

B. Blog

C. Work out

D. Straighten up the house

E. Check my Blackberry/Facebook

F. Flip through catalogs

G. Do something enjoyable for myself every day

Yes, I still get down on the floor and play with the kids. I still have plenty of teachable moments with them. We still do art projects together and practice our tracing and cutting. I buy cool books and know exactly what toys Ryan would love. I make up songs and do silly dances and make the holidays fun and teach my kids about the world… I just don’t center my life around trying to be the perfect Mother.

And that’s okay. Because I’ll let you in on a little secret: the perfect Mother doesn’t exist.

Ryan sometimes has to call me twice to get my attention because I am not always looking directly at him every second of the day. Sometimes I wait three minutes to scoop Alexa out of her crib when she peeps that naptime is over. Sometimes I let Ryan watch TV just so I can fold laundry in peace. Sometimes I go upstairs at night without cleaning up the clutter. Sometimes I cross nothing off of my to-do list. Sometimes I make mac and cheese two nights in a row.

The result? I feel more balanced, happy, and in love with my kids. I’m pretty sure this will, in turn, make my kids more balanced, happy and in love with me.

Posted by Dani in Women and tagged with parenting books, perfect mother

Tired toys? Outgrown outfits?

Shameless plug – my friend Tiffany owns Baby Chic NY - an awesome children’s consignment boutique on Long Island that I think you’ll really like. Whether you’re in the vicinity or across the country, Baby Chic NY also has a wonderful website where you can buy new boutique or pre-loved items at a fraction of the retail price. (See bottom of my sidebar to check it out for yourself.)

I bought some amazing outfits and accessories for Lexi at the store and I have also sold some of the kids’ once-worn clothing and outgrown toys to help pay for my Baby Chic shopping habit!

Happy shopping!

Posted by Dani in Buy This! and tagged with Baby Chic NY, consignment boutique

Tipping point of the season

For the past 9 years, Cory and I lived in a doorman apartment building. Every year, immediately following Thanksgiving we received a cheerful memo under our door wishing us Happy Holidays with the names of two dozen or so building employees’ names.

It obviously wasn’t just a nice letter. It was a list of holiday tipping recipients anticipating their annual bonus.

Off I went to the ATM to drain our savings account and give thanks to the men who helped me carry packages to the elevator, lift my stroller over the lobby steps, fix broken appliances and keep the building in good working order. It was a simple process – drop the envelopes in a box at the superintendent’s office. Done.

This year, we live in a house in the suburbs for the first time and I don’t have the first clue how to deal with tipping. Can someone please tell me how I am supposed to get to the garbage collectors? They come at like 7:30 in the morning. Am I supposed to listen for the garbage truck, run out in my pajamas and hand them envelopes? Leave an envelope taped to a garbage can and pray nobody will take it? How much should I tip?

Then there are Ryan’s bus drivers, who are also teachers at his school. I feel so weird giving money – are gift cards the way to go?

The team of two women who clean the house each week - one woman is there consistently, but the other person rotates.

The mail carrier. I think the USPS has specific rules against employees accepting cash. Shove a bottle of wine in the mailbox? Help.

Ryan’s head and assistant teachers.

The newspaper carrier. I have never seen said person. He must come at 3 in the morning.

My personal trainer??

How about service people who aren’t a regular part of December service, like our landscaper or pool cleaner?

I don’t have a nanny, but I’m pretty sure people give one week’s pay. Whew. Glad I can skip that one!

Other people I don’t employ, but maybe you do – babysitter, tutor, pet sitter/dog walker, religious school teacher, coach, etc….

I have no reason to hit up my hair salon for at least a month. Do they remember if you didn’t come in December and then show up in January without a retroactive tip in hand?

One thing I do know – tipping at the holidays is a way of saying thank you for a job well done throughout the year. It’s a gesture – not just about the money. The process may be annoying, but if I were to hold any one of these jobs, I would be sincerely appreciative to receive a small token for my hard work. As a teacher, I was amazed at the outpouring of gratitude I received from students and their families at the end of the year. It may seem like a nuisance, but some people rely on this supplemental “income” to help make ends meet. That being said, the important piece is the act of giving, not overextending yourself out of fear that your garbage will be strewn all over your front lawn for months to come.

Do you have your tips ready to go? Any sage advice for me?

P.S. If you have any money left over that you don’t know what to do with, please e-mail me and I will take it off of your hands courtesy of Citibank’s direct deposit service, free of charge.

Posted by Dani in Holiday stuff and tagged with holiday tips

Going Postal

You may have read my dilemma about holiday cards. Well, I decided to do them.

They’re actually New Years’ cards. Mostly because I got around to ordering them on the 7th night of Hanukkah and the way I procrastinate with my to-do list, I’d be lucky to get them out by Christmas. I figured December 31st would be doable.

I had about 15 stamps in my wallet, but needed more to finish off the pile of cards. I scooped up Alexa and headed to the post office on Monday morning. I dropped the previously-stamped cards down the chute and took my place in line with the other merry mailers. When my turn finally came, I requested two books of Forever stamps from the nice man behind the counter.

“Are the stamps for these cards here?” he asked.

Ooh, I didn’t realize they would stamp my cards for me! This must be a new service.

“Yes.” I replied with a smile.

“Well, then you need to get the 46 cent stamps because you have a square envelope and they cost more.”

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? THAT’S INSANE! IT’S A STUPID SQUARE, NOT A GOLD-PLATED TREASURE CHEST! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE NOTIFY ME OF THIS BEFORE I ORDERED THE CARDS? FURTHERMORE, I JUST DUMPED MORE THAN A DOZEN OF THEM INTO THE DROP-BOX ABYSS! WHAT DO I DO NOW?!?!?

I calmly informed the man of my dilemma. He explained that the envelopes I already deposited will be returned to me within a week to 10 days. I told him that I couldn’t wait that long and told him that I dropped them into the slot no more than 10 minutes ago. Couldn’t I retrieve them somehow?

He proceeded to open a door leading to the chaotic innards of the post office. Standing before me was a large dumpster filled with cheery cards of all shapes and sizes.

“Be my guest.” he said.

I spent the next 15 minutes fishing my cards out of said container. I’m pretty sure I got them all, but not 100 percent certain.

Then I had to get back in line to buy the 46 cent stamps since I didn’t do it the first time. I was so annoyed by the whole situation that I also forgot to get stamps to complement the ones that I retrieved.

So… if you get a New Years’ card with a Forever stamp next to a 46 cent stamp, you’ll know why.

And if you don’t get your card at all, it’s because I don’t know you it’s still in the dumpster.

Yeah, that’s it.

Posted by Dani in Holiday stuff and tagged with 46 cent stamp, Forever stamp, holiday cards, post office, square envelopes

Up in the sky

When Ryan was 2, I brought up the topic of death. Nobody that we knew passed away. It wasn’t something I had to do. It just kind of came out.

It was June 25th, 2009. I hardly ever watch TV but something had me riveted.

It was Michael Jackson.

I couldn’t tear myself away as I watched coverage of his life and death. Ryan asked me who the man was and I said, “That’s Michael Jackson. He died today. He liked to sing and dance. Now he’s dancing up in the sky.”

“Up in the sky?”

“Yes.” I replied matter-of-factly. “When people get really sick, not sick like a cold but when they’re really old, their body stops working and they go to a nice place in the sky called Heaven where they can feel happy and not sick anymore.”

“But I can’t see him.” Ryan said, looking out of the window.

“I know. We can’t see the people in Heaven but they can look down on us and make sure we’re safe and happy.”

All this BS for Michael Jackson. I mean, I have NO IDEA how this came out and why I couldn’t stop myself from talking. For the next couple of weeks, every time a Michael Jackson song came on the radio, I told Ryan it was him. He looked toward the sky. Little did I know he would remember this and ask about it more than a year later.

MJ - up in the sky

Today we were in the car on the way to a Birthday party. Beat It came on and I said, “Hey Ry – it’s Michael Jackson.”

He looked out the car window. “Mommy, he’s up in the sky, but I still can’t see him!”

I laughed. I’m such a moron. It reminds me of this wonderful explanation I gave to him about our dog, Remmy, when he died.

Remmy was my family dog since I graduated from college. When my parents came to live with us temporarily, Remmy did too. I don’t really want to get into the details, but we had to put him to sleep because he bit someone. He was 10 years old and had started to become ornery in his old age. No excuse, but with kids in the house, we had to make the tough decision to put him down.

Unfortunately, Ryan was there to see the biting incident as it happened. He had come to love Remmy and enjoyed having someone around the house who had an equal amount of energy. The morning after we put Remmy to sleep, Ryan was confused as to why he wasn’t there. He was slightly obsessed with the knowledge that he saw Remmy bite someone, and knew that it was wrong. It probably computed in his head like Remmy got a time out for what he did.

I explained to him that when some dogs get really old, they’re not so good at playing with people anymore and they can only play with other dogs. So I told Ryan that Remmy went back to Philadelphia to play with other dogs, run around and have a blast. We can’t visit him because he can’t play nicely with us anymore, but he’s very happy with his doggie friends.

So basically, I suck at this. What the hell? Have you had to explain death to your child(ren) yet? If so, how did you do it in an age-appropriate way? I’m really interested in knowing how I can stop spewing insanity and say something of value to my son the next time this comes up!

Posted by Dani in Boys, News and tagged with death, Michael Jackson

Secret spending?

Rolling along on the topic of secrets…

Every morning, I open up my browser to see what’s going on in the world as I hurriedly eat my breakfast. Today I was greeted with an empty chair receiving a Nobel Peace Prize, the latest WikiLeaks drama and THIS.

These people are nothing short of disgusting. They should be shot. Why even get married if you’re going to do this to your spouse?

I can’t even write about this anymore.

I have to go cut tags before Cory gets home.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Posted by Dani in Men, News, Polls and Quizzes, Women and tagged with secret spending, tag cutting party