Alexa is a “petite” baby. At her 9 month checkup, she was in the 50th percentile for height and between the 10th-25th percentiles for weight. Because Ryan was a normal chubber before he began walking, people assume Alexa is smaller because she was breastfed longer. But the real reason is because I have inadvertently been starving her. And I’m pretty sure this is part of the reason why she’s been waking up waaaaaayyyyy too early recently.
This is how you, too, can starve your poor, innocent baby (tongue-in-cheek, of course):
1. Stop breastfeeding and then completely lose track of how much she drinks and eats in a day, since you’re used to feeding on demand.
2. Go to the doctor for a well visit and when asked about her food intake, mention something like 32 oz plus 2 jars of food. (Doctor said she should go up to 3 jars.)
3. Go home and actually keep track of her food intake and realize that she’s actually somewhere around 24 oz plus 2 jars. That’s like the equivalent of missing a whole bottle! Turns out she doesn’t finish all of the bottles and those leftover ounces really add up when you count them…
Do you think she hates me because I was starving her or is secretly glad because she doesn’t have my thighs?
P.S. Today she got 28 oz and 3 jars. I tried, but she fell asleep on the bottle.
I suck.
