Love the moment when Lexi realizes everyone is singing to HER.
Happy 2nd Birthday, my sweet baby girl.
Birthdays Posts
Wait, it’s MY Birthday!
We Have a 2 Year Old
Happy 2nd Birthday, Miss Alexa Gabrielle. We adore your spirit, your silliness, your smile and the way you laugh. You are our little gymnast and adventurer who stays up all night singing and partying with your crib friends. We love your independence and constant refrain of “I’ll do it!” along with your love for life and personality that lights up a room. We love that Ryan is your hero and you are his sweetie.
We Have a 5 Year Old
Happy 5th Birthday to our silly, funny, handsome, smart, creative, curious, always moving, always talking, always singing, tushy-dancing buddy RYAN CHASE!
With you, there is never a dull moment and we wouldn’t have it any other way. You really rock and if you weren’t our kid, we’d be jealous. Probably a little more rested, but jealous. We hope you realize how wonderful and special you are and how proud we are to be your parents. You make us laugh like nobody else can.
The One on Uncle JJ’s Birthday (Beware: Stream of consciousness ahead)
You know those days when there is just so much going on at once with the kids that you’re sweating before you even get in the car and feeling like you’re going to explode with a cursing tirade because you can’t imagine a human being acting quite this annoying???? And you know it was not so nice to tell that human being that they’re acting so.freaking.annoying but giving yourself a silent high-five for controlling yourself enough to not call him annoying but rather his behavior? Then you mention to said child that if this behavior continues, he will not get a lollipop after his portrait session at Clix (a place you’ve never visited but hope it’s less crowded than Picture People) for your annual holiday card and you will turn this car around and go right home? But you know you will have to bribe him with that lollipop anyway because he’s going to give that ridiculously fake smile otherwise and you just know already that the session will be a disaster because both kids are tired and you were an idiot and booked your appointment for the late afternoon? Then you arrive at your portrait session with your Mother in tow because you know ahead of time that you’d need back-up but within the first two minutes you’re using that under-your-breath-voice to try and quietly scream at your child to get.up.off.of.the.floor because you’re.acting.like.a.two.year.old and you know you’ve lost it because nothing out of your mouth sounds the least bit calm and you try feverishly to remember if you’re acting this way because it’s been two days without your meds or because you’re lacking in caffeine but the words just tumble out and don’t stop. Then you give yourself a break because you’re usually very even-tempered and fair and then you feel simply awful when your son asks if you still love him and then hugs your leg. Then after a disaster of a portrait session when you just know – even though the photographer tries to convince you otherwise – that there is not one good shot of either child separately or together you begin crying with laughter seated next to your Mother at a computer looking at two dozen outtakes of your kids with tongues hanging out, leaning awkwardly over chairs, trying to escape the room, playing with the backdrop, laying on top of each other, looking generally confused, eyes bulging and you think that maybe it would be funny to make your holiday card a tragedy of errors sort of thing. But instead you take your dressed-up kids, grab your camera and whisk them off to a park/playground to take pictures of your own. Then just when you’re starting to get somewhere after a good half hour at the park and 75 pictures later, your stupid flash stops working on your really good camera so you give up and take the weirdly-dressed-for-the-playground-kids on a walk across a field so your daughter can say hi to the girls soccer team she’s been watching instead of posing on the slide. Then the soccer team ends up leaving the park while you’re walking back to your car and maybe – just maybe - the last one out inexplicably locks the gate to the park while you’re getting the kids buckled in. You know that they know that you’re there – you were with them three minutes ago and did you think we walked here? So you’re stuck in the car in the dark with two super hyper and hungry children and you’re due to be at your brother-in-law’s Birthday dinner in an hour. You call your dear hubby for help and he just happens to be on his way to the park anyway to meet you and joins the party while you call the Parks Department in vain because it’s Sunday and the website obviously says hours are only Monday through Friday. So you call 911 and declare your emergency that your car is stuck behind a gate that you can easily walk through but your car can’t and no….. you don’t have a freaking clue what the cross-street is and you’re so thankful that your husband runs across the street to find out. Then you are reminded that you have to be at a fancy restaurant soon and you know that the kids are in no shape to be anywhere that other humans congregate and just when you think the cops aren’t coming because it has been 25 minutes (is there possibly something more important in town than freeing our car from behind a park gate?), your hubby and son team up to bust open the lock and when you call police to tell them you’re free, all they can say is, “I can’t hear you – all I hear is kids screaming.” and you’re like, “No shit – welcome to my life!” and then you realize that the best pictures of the day were not at the portrait session or at the playground but with your grainy cell phone camera – in the dark, in front of the stupid locked gate…
We're stuck - but don't I look handsome in this tie?
Daddy waiting patiently for the police before taking matters into his own hands
Kids have the natural capacity to entertain themselves under any circumstance
Working it out...
Free at last!
Wouldn't you know it? They were little angels at dinner. Amazing.
Happy Birthday, Uncle JJ. This one’s for you.
One Year
Today – October 1, 2011 – is my 1 year Blogoversary.
Thank you for your well-wishes and looks of sheer pride and amazement. I consider this my greatest life achievement, rivaled only by my sneaking into the MTV Video Music Awards in 2000 and almost winning a Spelling Bee in middle school. But really, this feat deserves some kind of celebration, so I did what anyone would do to celebrate such an occasion. I hired hard-hitting journalist Larry King to interview me on my thoughts about the past year and where I see myself – and the blog – evolving as I look toward the year ahead.
Larry: Congratulations on one year of writing about yourself. How did it all begin?
Dani: Thanks so much, Larry. It’s like free therapy. The blog actually started when I had pneumonia and I was laid up in bed. Well, I didn’t know I had pneumonia yet because I hadn’t seen the doctor. Anyway, I was supremely bored and I really hate doing nothing (unless I’m napping) so I started thinking about something to keep me busy. A few hours later, I figured out how to create a blog site, got myself a domain name and – Voila! – the American Dream was born.
Larry: You know that we’re starting this interview at 9:00 p.m. That means you won’t be able to publish our interview until the next morning if you want a chance in hell of anyone reading it.
Dani: Excuse me, but I hired you because you throw softballs. Stick to what you do best. I don’t plan ahead – it was a wonder I wasn’t late to my own wedding. Also, I was busy watching the Phillies win Game 1 of the NLDS. So I really don’t care if someone reads this on October 1 or 2 as long as the Phillies won. Have you read my About Me section? The Phillies are more important to me than my family or food. Move along, please.
Larry: Alrighty then. So what were your goals when you first started the blog?
Dani: Well, initially I wanted to make some kind of online diary that I could look back on and remember what it was like raising my kids. Then I started getting requests about book lists, parenting techniques, baby products and reader letters asking for advice, so I tried my best to deliver. Then I got lazy and went back to writing about myself. But people still come to read the blog, so either I’m really fascinating or people really, really hate their jobs.
Larry: What were some of your favorite posts and why?
Dani: Interesting question. What pisses me off, Larry, is that although I supplied you with the questions beforehand, you are veering way off track and asking some questions that I am NOT prepared to answer. How am I supposed to remember anything I wrote?
Off the top of my head, I guess the whole series on Sleep Training Alexa was one of them, because it was written in real-time and I got dozens of people writing to me afterwards saying how those posts kept them from giving up on their own sleep training. For Time To Stand Still is a personal favorite – both the message and the images still make me emotional. Guys and Dolls was a Reader Letter that really struck a chord because I had a lot of people tell me they breathed a collective sigh of relief after reading it. Pet Peeve was a lively one because it pissed off a lot of people and had my friends scratching their heads and flipping me off. Finally, the Princessories Launch post wasn’t a great piece of writing, but it made me proud because I could finally stop just TALKING ABOUT starting a business because I actually did it. So, there you go.
Larry: Sorry, I just fell asleep for a minute. Umm… so have you grown or changed at all as a person in the past year?
Dani: I definitely haven’t grown. My doctor said I still stand 5 feet, 4 inches tall. Which is unfortunate, because if I could grow another 3-4 inches, my weight would be distributed a little better and I’d be a real hottie. As far as changing, I no longer have pneumonia. I started a business. My stress levels are through the roof because my daughter scream-cries during car rides and my son is just days away from no longer letting me squeeze his tushy. So I guess you could say things have changed, though I really haven’t changed at all.
Larry: I see. So, for my final question, I’d like to know how you see this blog evolving in the future. For example, where do you see the blog on October 1, 2012?
Dani: Thanks, Lar - I understood the question without the example. I see this blog continuing to thrive, thanks to my loyal and wonderful readers who make me want to write even when I would rather be sleeping. I would also like to see the blog evolve into a human, full-time nanny and do my laundry. If it turned into an ATM, that would be cool, too.
I know you didn’t ask who I would like to thank, but in conclusion, I would like to thank my readers again for being so awesome and for believing in me… although most of them suck at commenting but that’s nothing new. I would also like to thank WordPress for giving me a platform – literally. To my husband for staring at my back while I’m on the computer and cursing me out for doing yet another thing that takes away from “Cory and Dani Time” while fully supporting me and all of my crap. And finally to my children Ryan and Alexa – without you I’d just be writing about the Phillies, reading great books, eating sushi, traveling to faraway places, laying out in the sun, relaxing and sleeping in, acting retired and having stable blood pressure…
Ugh. Maybe I shouldn’t be thanking the children. Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have veered from the script. Screw you, Larry King.
Happy Anniversary to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh, and bite me, Larry. I’m posting this at 11:10 p.m., which means it’s still technically October 1st. And no, it didn’t take two hours to write. I had to feign interest in an ongoing conversation that Cory was having with me, so I took some breaks.
Next year I’m interviewing myself.
A Birth Story
Photo Credit: Kelle Hampton
Everyone comes into this world with their own story.
Some believe we write our stories as we journey through life, our decisions creating unique twists and turns.
Some believe our stories were written for us by someone or something larger than ourselves.
Kelle Hampton is just one woman who is not unlike someone you may know. Blessed with good looks, she has a husband, children, a talent for taking breathtaking photographs and writing about the wonders of life in her blog, Enjoying the Small Things.
Like you and me, she has a story. It is not the first story of its kind. But what makes her story so remarkable is that she wrote about it. One defining event written in raw, honest detail. To share with others how life sometimes throws a wrench in our plans, forces us to change the way we think, to challenge us in ways we could never imagine.
I have so many things I want to say about her story but most of all, I want YOU to read it. So sit back (with a box of tissues) and allow Kelle to take you on her incredible personal journey – the birth story of her second daughter, Nella Cordelia:
http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html
Pet Peeve
I know I’m going to get blasted for this and I sound sooooo very ungrateful and rude, but here goes…
I can’t stand when people don’t ask for gift receipts when purchasing gifts.
Note to friends and family – this is a general sentiment and has nothing to do with the beautiful gifts we received for Alexa’s Birthday. Well, maybe a couple of them. But it wasn’t YOU.
I’m sure I’ve been guilty of this in the past (actually, I just gave my friend L a gift for her daughter and forgot to tape the receipt inside, but I have it and asked her if she wanted it) but what makes a person think that there’s no way in hell that someone wouldn’t like their gift? Of course everyone thinks they have fabulous taste, but I can’t help it if I’m not a fan of a velvet turtleneck in a 12 month size when it’s summertime. Just give me the chance to make it right and exchange it!
Some gifts don’t come with any proof of the store they came from so there’s no way to return it. I’d like to be able to exchange your gift instead of donating it in a drop box after you spent considerable time and money picking it out. Store policies today are so strict that I have to go into Toys ‘R Us with a friend’s driver’s license once I’ve hit $75 in returns in one calendar year.
There’s also the possibility that the gift recipient already has the gift and would like to exchange it. Without a receipt, I’m stuck with three different Memory board games and four of the same book. And I’m not a re-gifter, even though people tell me I’m crazy for not doing it.
Speaking of re-gifting, I remember in 2009 I received a gift that had a receipt attached from 2006. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I didn’t even have kids then! Furthermore, if YOU didn’t like it, why did you think I would? That’s what gets me. I guess if you gave away an extra Memory game because you have four of them it’s not as bad as giving away some fugly outfit that you hate as well.
I know some people take pictures of their kids in horrendous outfits that they received so that the gift giver can ooh and aah over it and feel good. Then they hide it in a drawer, never again to see the light of day. I’m just not that nice. Or wasteful. Sure, if great grandma knit a sweater, of COURSE you’re gonna have the kid wear it when she comes over, but stuffing yellow polka-dot overalls with green smiley faces in a drawer robs another worthy recipient of it’s “fabulousness”.
Now that I’ve got that off of my chest, I can continue writing thank you notes while you curse me under your breath. Remember, it wasn’t YOUR gift. YOU have great taste and know exactly what I like. It was someone else.
Go ahead, blast me. I feel better now.
Top 10 Reasons It Was a Bad Idea for Cory to Allow Me to Plan a 1st Birthday Party In Our Backyard
1. He actually thought it would be cheaper than going to a play place. Is he kidding? Has he gotten a chance to know me over the past 14 years? This is going to be like my second wedding.
2. For the 48 hours leading up to the big event I am like a crazy PMS robot gunning down everyone in my wake. People closest to me go first.
3. I am stressing that there won’t be enough food which means a mid-party run to the supermarket or the nearest catering hall, which means more money (see #1). Bonus points for reminding me that most parties feature only pizza and cake and that the guests don’t end up dying of starvation.
4. He will be subjected to cruel and unusual punishment in the form of wrapping favors, using Magic Erasers to scrub down climbing equipment and tying colored ribbon onto plastic white chairs.
5. I forced him to take Friday off of work so he can be my slave. In no way will this feel like a vacation. It may resemble a slightly nicer version of hell.
6. He will be subjected to multiple middle-of-the-night wakeups so I can pester him about my to-do list and constant worries that the party won’t be any fun.
7. I have formally relinquished my duties as “Mother” and am now to solely be referred to as “Party Planner”. Ryan needs his tush wiped? Your job, Daddy-o!
8. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s waking up with the kids. I’m tired from my late night date with the hot glue gun. (Update: he did it without me having to ask. What a good, good man.)
9. Home parties need a theme, or at least that’s what I decided before I picked out the invitations. So in the spirit of Alice in Wonderland, Cory will be wearing a Mad Hatter hat made of green velvet in 80 degree heat.
10. He was coerced into signing a contract stating that if the party is a smashing success, it was all my doing. If it sucks, it’s only because he gave me no creative control. In addition, he must apologize to our guests by throwing himself onto the barbecue and allowing them to throw skewers at him.
C U L8R
Last weekend, I took Ryan to a 6th Birthday party at a planetarium. Fabulous idea for a party. The show brought me back to my childhood – the awesomeness of that great faux-sky… then my teenage years when I would go to see Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd laser shows at the Franklin Institute Planetarium in Philly and we’d go outside and do bad things hang out. Anyway.
So I get to the party and I notice that my friend (the Birthday boy’s Mom) is there with her extended family and there are a couple of other adults. Then I notice there are like 20 plus kids there. A little strange – maybe the other adults are in the bathroom or something. Then a Mom comes with her son and my friend casually says to her, “12:30, okay?” and the woman nods. AND LEAVES.
OH. MY. G-D.
A drop-off party!
I never even considered this next fabulous phase in my life. Didn’t know it existed. Right now, Birthday Party Season feels like an endless trip to Toys ‘R Us and a mounting credit card bill. In a couple of years, it will feel like one big, fabulous vacation!
One catch, though. The adults present are in charge of keeping order, so it was like I was back teaching a classroom of elementary school students. Lined up the kids to go to the bathroom. Chose the best sitting table as the first for cake. Tried to tame a wild game of catch the zombie. Must be tiring when it’s your party, but the rest are someone else’s problem! Totally worth it.
Ryan came home and said he couldn’t wait until he could be 6 so he can be like those kids. Right there with you, bud!!
4 Our Birthday Boy, Ryan Chase
April 8, 2007.
You arrived eight days early. Fitting, because you’re always ready for an adventure. At nine months old, you were walking. The littlest man we’d ever seen on two feet.
It took us a while to get used to our new life. Us? Responsible for a baby? We felt like kids ourselves. Now we can’t imagine our lives without you. You are our lives. You made us a family.
A year passed and we couldn’t wait to hear what you would say. Now we can’t seem to stop you from talking. Questioning. Moving. Everything you do is go go go. We wouldn’t have it any other way. You are a bundle of energy and curiosity.
Two years old and we’re knee-deep in The Wiggles, Thomas the Train, colors, numbers, shapes and letters. Everything you see amazes you. You forget nothing. You test us from here to there and back again. We love watching you navigate this big, amazing world. And oh, that voice. It is the cutest, sweetest voice. We want to bottle it up and keep it forever. Ditto your long, curly hair.
At three, we notice the biggest changes of all. Your ability to reason, to empathize, to describe and to question grows in leaps and bounds. You express yourself beautifully through play, language, song and imagination. You develop real friendships. You love cars, trucks and things that move – much like you. You know what you want and you let it be known. You love holding center court, although it overwhelms you all the same. We love your independence, intelligence and ability to make us laugh with a silly face or a crazy song.
And now you are four. We don’t know what this next year will bring, but we can’t wait to find out. You have two parents who adore you and a baby sister who believes you hung the moon.
You fill our hearts with love and our heads with grey hair. Your innocence is endearing and your defiance is infuriating. The depths of our emotions for you are impossible to describe.
What an amazing ride we’re on together. What an amazing child.
You make us proud. You make us better. You make us love deeper.
We love being your Mommy and Daddy. We love you to infinity and beyond!
