Got back a couple of days ago from Miami. Cory has a conference down there every year at this time and I’ve been going with him and the kid(s) since 2008. The weather was amazing and I got to do lots of outdoor activities with the kids – zoo, beach, pool, museums… you name it. My in-laws also came down during the week, which was great. Since this has been our yearly getaway without having any other real vacation over the past few years, my expectations are always higher than they should be. Like for some reason I think the kids will sleep late, sit on a lounge chair while I tan, behave beautifully at restaurants when it’s way past their bedtime and sit quietly in the car awaiting our destination. Obviously these expectations were not met. Anyhow, it was great to feel the sun on our skin, to run around and get sweaty and feel the sand under our feet. At the end of the day we were truly exhausted and glad to hit the cool, freshly laundered sheets. It was great to wear summer clothing, frequent frozen yogurt shops up and down US1, apply tropical-smelling sunblock and drive our rented SUV with the windows down.
Since it’s hard for me to be eternally joyful and positive, I just had a few complaints, which I saved on the Notepad section of my iPhone as postcards from Florida. No biggie. Just in case you missed my whining, these are the 4 postcards I wanted to share with you, my lovely readers:
1. To the lovely, hospitable host company – do you think the conference could be moved from Valentine’s Week to Presidents’ Week aka February break? I mean, I pull my kid out of school when he’s usually there all day long for a week of fun in the sun with Mommy and then you expect me to entertain him for ANOTHER whole week on top of that? I know I signed up for this parenting thing, but school is what some of us look to when our entertainment value expires. Looking towards the future, if you could coordinate your conference to coincide with this school break, I’d be eternally grateful.
2. To Mother Nature, the equator and global warming – the 82 degree sunny weather was amazing but how come Floridians (and some other lucky people across the globe) get it and I don’t? I know it can’t be helped, but I feel like these people are generally happier, healthier and more fit because they are forced to show more skin all year long. I actually shouldn’t piss you off – it has been the mildest winter I can remember up North so thanks for that. But is there some kind of metric for warmer weather climate people being happier? For our February break, I get to choose between two open play places, bowling or going to someone’s house and they get to choose between the beach, the pool, waterskiing, parasailing, being insanely happy, being amazingly happy, being deliriously happy. Ugh.
3. To the super choppy, turbulent air on the descent back to NY – if you could have waited just 10 seconds, Ryan would have made it to the bathroom in time. Because you decided to shake our plane so thoroughly as he was halfway down the aisle with Cory, the ‘male half’ of my family had to sit alone in the back of the plane for the final 30 minutes of our flight while towards the middle, my daughter threw everything on the floor in protest of being harnessed for so long, cried repeatedly to get UP UP UP, begged me to change the movie, change it back, give her food and whatever else had me praying back a panic attack (I am not a good flier). I was later told Ryan was forced to pee in his pants because the “fasten seatbelt light” was on. Poor, wet kid. He wanted to be held when we got off the plane and none of us wanted to touch the soggy dude.
4. To today’s children (or just my own) – when I was little, we used to DRIVE to Florida from Philly and all I got for entertainment were those signs that told me how many miles until South of the Border. Yeah, I’m sure I asked “how much longer” amid whines of ”I’m bored” but I survived the long trip with music, activity books, I Spy, The License Plate Game and – gasp! – talking to my parents. So when your freaking iPod Touch runs out of batteries and you shriek as though someone is holding you by your feet off a cliff, just know that it’s a 20 minute ride to the flipping ZOO and YOU’LL LIVE!!
Those few things aside, I am grateful that I had the chance to enjoy the weather that you lucky Floridian %^&*(*$%& get to enjoy daily and it’s good to be back, if only because four of us in one hotel room is not sustainable for more than 8 days. Plus, only 6 more days until Ryan goes back to school. Not that I’m counting.